One of Jan Brewer’s favorite hobbies is searching for all the human heads that are geocached in the desert. (Sometimes these heads are not even “cached,” and can be seen rolling around like tumbleweeds.) This is why Jan Brewer got PTSD when reporters hounded her about “desert beheadings” during her first and ONLY debate — can’t we just trust Jan Brewer and move on? All the human heads Jan Brewer finds in the desert are still attached to their respective bodies, okay? Are you happy now, jerks?

“That was an error, if I said that,” the Republican told The Associated Press on Friday. “I misspoke, but you know, let me be clear, I am concerned about the border region because it continues to be reported in Mexico that there’s a lot of violence going on and we don’t want that going into Arizona.”

She said she was referring to beheadings and other cartel-related violence in Mexico in comments she made earlier this summer about decapitated bodies found in the state’s southern region.

Tune in next week when Jan Brewer takes off her sexy blonde wig and reveals to the world that she is really John Boehner.

Well, things may be bad, but at least we don’t have massive worldwide food shortages and accompanying riots in poor countries … oh wait, we do have that now? The New York Times reports:

Food prices rose 5 percent globally during August, according to the United Nations, spurred mostly by the higher cost of wheat, and the first signs of unrest erupted as 10 people died in Mozambique during clashes ignited partly by a 30 percent leap in the cost of bread.

[...]

The F.A.O. has called a special session of grain experts from around the world on Sept. 24 to address the supply question. Given that the fields stretching out from the Black Sea have been the main source of a huge leap in wheat trade over the past decade, the fluctuating weather patterns and unstable harvests there will have to be addressed, he said.

The hot topic on Google News tonight is “Unemployment.” Something about Labor Day Weekend and 9.6% official joblessness, we guess. The last 40 years or so haven’t been so hot, for America. But at least we had good music — hard times used to be especially good for popular and folk song!

English people used to love to watch old black Americans sing sad songs. But because black people were hard to find in the U.K. until the 1970s, when that empire crumbled and its distant subjects started turning up in London, scrawny white children from the “art schools” were forced into national service as “blues musicians.” And, when you think about it, growing up in the hungry Orwellian aftermath of WWII was probably pretty good training for the blues, too.

And here’s the greatest “working song” from the American songbook, and this solo recording by Jerry Lee Lewis (recorded for a weird late ’80s Dennis Quaid-Winona Ryder biopic) might just be the best in a long line of great versions by Louis Armstrong and Aretha Franklin and especially this one by Ray Charles.

Anyway, let’s quote Dana Milbank in a serious fashion for the first and last time:

Christina Romer, chairman of President Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers, was giving what was billed as her “valedictory” before she returns to teach at Berkeley, and she used the swan song to establish four points, each more unnerving than the last:

She had no idea how bad the economic collapse would be. She still doesn’t understand exactly why it was so bad. The response to the collapse was inadequate. And she doesn’t have much of an idea about how to fix things.

What she did have was a binder full of scary descriptions and warnings, offered with a perma-smile and singsong delivery: “Terrible recession. . . . Incredibly searing. . . . Dramatically below trend. . . . Suffering terribly. . . . Risk of making high unemployment permanent. . . . Economic nightmare.”

[Washington Post]

Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically the best and most journalistic blog post ever.

Here are some more Team Sarah comments. From “Eileen Steller”:

I stopped watching DWTS when I heard the host ,Tom Bergeron, saying unkind remarks about Sarah at the ’08 Emmys. I wonder if he will be as smart mouthed when she is standing next to him? Please let us know when to start voting so we can put on an all out blitz for Bristol.

From “Susan-IN”:

There was a time in my life when ballroom dancing helped me to get over a “jerky guy” who had betrayed me. When you are dancing — concentrating on feet and arm movements, trying to keep pace with beat and tempo of music, and getting into the mood of the music — it is impossible to think about your problems or responsibilities during that time! Today I am a ballroom dance instructor. Now I tell my students that an hour long ballroom dance lesson is like “taking a mini-vacation!” I hope Bristol thoroughly enjoys the experience! (Of course, competition in front of an audience can be very stressful, but I am sure that she inherited her mother’s strength, determination, and courage!) GO, BRISTOL!

From “Thomas N. Hubbard”:

I’m sure Bristol’s a great Dancer, but do not Tango with her mother!

And from “Donna the teacher,” who of course double-posted this:

Bristol is a pretty girl. I wish her the best. Looks like Mark will help her get over Levi. Laughter is good for the soul.Thanks for sharing the pics Adrienne. I will vote for Bristol on my cell phone, my home land line phone and my e-mail. I just need numbers and e-mail address in advance.Thanks

Over at Mercede’s warblog, she does it for the fans:

Many of my readers keep asking what I think about Bristol being part of the cast on “Dancing with the Stars.” I at first hesitated to respond to that because I do not want my blog to be focused on Bristol Palin.

However, I noticed that the questions keep coming so I feel that I need to address them.

But this post actually makes a great point:

Once I found out that Bristol would be one of the cast members on “Dancing with the Stars” I was honestly somewhat shocked and a little disgusted. How can Levi and our family see Tripp while she is away in LA practicing her dance routines? That was my first concern. It has been months since I last saw my precious nephew and now it is clear that it will be many more months before I see him again.

Along with my constant concern for my nephew, what really bothered me, with all due respect to other teen mothers out there, is that I believe this is sending the WRONG message to other teens.

They’re going to look at this as, Bristol Palin got pregnant as a teen, and now she is famous! They will see her being offered multiple opportunities, being cast on a sitcom, joining the cast of “Dancing with the Stars”, all while making hundreds of thousands of dollars. For many teens it will appear that the road to success is through unprotected sex.

I really hope that the media will realize that this kind of thing is sending the message to other young teens that this is glamorous and a way to get a lot of attention.

Wow, profound, Levi’s meth-head mom’s daughter. What’s more, Mercede has done some JOURNALISM about this in her town:

Since Bristol became pregnant, and made headlines world wide, teen pregnancy in Wasilla has sky rocketed!

Everywhere I look I see somebody who is expecting a new baby. If you go into a public restroom there is writing on the walls saying:

“Is it bad that I’m 15 and want a baby soooo bad?”

“I would give anything to have a baby!”

“I want to be a mommy at 14!”

Of course:

After I read those messages on the restroom wall, I actually took a picture of them with my cell phone because I was so completely shocked by how many young girls are writing them. It seems that it is becoming a trend!

I showed my dad the pictures, and at first he was wondering why in the world I took a picture of the bathroom wall

Haha. Pics or it didn’t happen! Oh wait, she does have pics.

Perfect. [Team Sarah / Mercede Johnston]

Look what your favorite ex-president put up on his Facebook page today, ladies! According to tradition, when the George W. Bush 9/11 boner sees its shadow, that means six more weeks of 9/11. Hooray!

Also, haha, Fox & Friends‘ Brian Kilmeade doesn’t want to look at that boner and its vibrant boner patriotism. “It’s optimistic about America because it’s optimistic about the people of America.” [Facebook via Wonkette operative "Andrew L."]

COME ON BLACK PEOPLE, It’s about time you acknowledged all the great things Republicans have done for you in the last 50 years! You ARE the Tea Party!

Jan Brewer does not understand this whole debate thing and the idea that you have to make “opening statements” and have “accomplishments” to talk about in them, and thus she has decided she won’t do one ever again, SO THERE. “She said the only reason she debated him on Wednesday is she had to to qualify for more than $1.7 million in public funds for her campaign.” Change the rules, Arizona! America loves to cringe at this woman!

“I certainly will take my message in a different venue out to the people of Arizona,” she said.

And that message is written on, umm, one of these papers here somewhere, hold on.

Brewer said she has been in elective office for 28 years, and Goddard has held office for nearly that long. “I think it’s pretty defined what he stands for and what I stand for.”

Woah, that’s a long time! But if it has been so well defined for all those years that Brewer hates Messicans, why did it take her until this year to pass her beloved you-look-brown-where’s-your-ID law? Certainly it wouldn’t have anything to do with this being an election year.

Brewer blamed part of her post-debate activities on her gaffe in her opening statement. The governor also said she presumed reporters would want to talk to her about some of the issues raised during the hour-long, televised debate.

“All you guys were doing and talking were beheadings, beheadings, beheadings,” the governor said. “That is something that has stuck with you all for so long, and I just felt we needed to move on.”

Well, maybe you should stop being racist against people who don’t have heads, Jan. [Arizona Daily Star]