Stupid Al Gore.

GOP Valentine’s Day Cards [RNC]

Sometime yesterday or maybe just some other day this or last week, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin and racecar driver and/or executionist Ted Nugent held a rally for let’s say the Super Bowl. Houston Press ace photographer “Bryan Fotographer” was there, because that’s his beat, images. Anyway, some of the photos, like this one of a human-shaped bag of meth covered entirely in sequins are quite comical. Enjoy/weep! [Especially you, tipster "Monsieur Grumpe"]

[Houston Press]

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NEW YORK (WPIX) - Governor Paterson reportedly is preparing to respond to scandalous rumors that have been swirling around him for the past ten days. A political source tells PIX News the governor will meet with editors of the New York Times tomorrow to answer questions regarding their investigation into his personal conduct.

The Times had been expected to publish a “bombshell” story as early as Monday, and that the governor’s resignation was likely to follow.

According to a source, the story hasn’t run yet because reporters were seeking additional corroboration and because attempts were still being made to have the governor respond to the allegations, which reportedly involve the governor and other women in a possible sex scandal. Latest indication is that the Times will run the story Wednesday.

Pix or GTFO, Times. Presumably they understand this, hence the delay.

Source: Looming Paterson Scandal Involves Affair With NY Woman [WPIX via Gawker]

Here’s the gist of the statement from whatever weiner-salad works in Shelby’s office:

“Senator Shelby has placed holds on several pending nominees due to unaddressed national security concerns,” Mr. Graffeo wrote. “Among his concerns is that nearly 10 years after the U.S. Air Force announced plans to replace the aging tanker fleet, we still do not have a transparent and fair acquisition process to move forward. The Department of Defense must recognize that the draft Request for Proposal needs to be significantly and substantively changed.”

“Senator Shelby is also deeply concerned that the administration will not release the funds already appropriated to the F.B.I. to build the Terrorist Explosives Devices Analytical Center. This decision impedes the U.S. military, the intelligence community, and federal law enforcement personnel in their missions to exploit and analyze intelligence information critical to fighting terrorism and ensuring American security worldwide.

“The Obama administration wants to read terrorists our Miranda rights and try them in U.S. courts but is impeding the processing of evidence that could lead to convictions.”

Rahm, on cellphone: GIVE THE FUCKING RETARD WHAT HE MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING WANTS? OKAY?
Tim Shriver: Rahm! We’re right here, in the White House! During the R-word summit!
Little boy, crying: I’m s-s-scared…

White House Blasts Shelby Hold on Nominees [NYT]

Butterstick, which means Tai Shan in the Chinese languages, was born in Washington at the National Zoo on July 9, 2005. Nobody knows who the father was, as the mother implausibly claimed she was “artificially inseminated.” Yeah, with somebody’s dick.

Everybody loved the Butterstick while it was little, and then it got all big and nasty and people were like, “Let’s kill it for food. Just like Panda Express.” A new cute bear was born to actor Leo DeCarprio, the beloved “Knut,” and because of this we stopped — or at least heard about — Global Warming. But Knut lived in Nazi Germany, not DC, so it’s hard to say how this might’ve impacted the situation back at home.

Before long, America had sold its very last assets (the show Lost) to China, and then China was all, “What else you got? Oh right, how about you GIVE US BACK OUR MOTHERFUCKING PANDA YOU WHITE DEVILS.”

Good-bye, Butterstick! Hope you learn to fuck over there!

Ha ha CBS News really headlined its article “Panda Express” [CBS News]

Among the items Senate Democrats intend to advance:

* Tax credits to spur hiring and equipment purchases by small businesses

* Money to encourage construction projects by state and local governments

* Extending healthcare subsidies and unemployment payments for the jobless

* Incentives to weatherize buildings

* Aid to cash-strapped state and local governments to avoid further layoffs of teachers and other public employees

What about just straight-up stone cold motherfuckin’ givin’ people some motherfuckin’ jobs, baby?

[Reuters and tipster Sparky McGruff]